Yes, people should feel free to be who they are. It’s a great feeling to be appreciated and loved for being who you are…messy and all. A person should be free to present themselves as raw as possible without explanations. Hell yea!! You don’t need to answer to anyone about the things that you feel or do! Boom! Be an F-ing individual! Everyday…all day.
But what happens when another individual enters (or is now present ) in your life that you care about. This could be a friend, lover, business partner…
Whatever the case may be….we have to be very conscious of the evolution process that we go through as the individual as well as the process taking place in the other individual we invite into our lives.
Being your own person is very easy. You are free to develop on your own terms. There isn’t necessarily anyone hovering over you as you work out the kinks within yourself. There may not be anyone holding you accountable for the things that you say or do.
Now this is not to say that when another being enters your life, particularly a lover, that your freedom is gone. By all means please make sure you maintain your freedom and individuality. Don’t let anyone take those jewels away from you. However, there is a huge objective to consider when allowing another being into your world and that is understanding that they have their own world as well.
In all relationship types, the union is made up of two wholes. All of your pieces may not be properly placed according to your standards but nevertheless you are whole.
As a soulistic-being (yea..I made it up) we should be taking part in a daily healing process which involves loving ourselves; we can organize (or not) all of the elements and layers that make us who we are. This could be as wacky or as neat as one sees fit. We do this while also remembering that the other individual(s) outside of us are also experiencing their own self love and self construction. Their techniques for building can be very similar or very different than our own.
We have to learn that living as ourselves and being an individual does not have to be threatened by another being entering our world. We create the threat with nonsense. It should be a merging process. Take a look at a simple Venn diagram.
Notice that a Venn diagram is a connection of two complete circles. These circles represent the parties in the relationship. There is also an overlap of the two circles. Within this circle lies the growth that takes place when two worlds tap inside one another’s. As you evolve on your own and the other individual evolves, the center meets and becomes the awaken development of two. If you’re aiming for these two worlds to form an infinite bond, hence the figure 8, here are some things to consider:
Communication is healthy
Sometimes we just need to be vulnerable…sharing thoughts and having effective communication is the lifeline
Time is a key element to appropriate growth
Here is a place where I evolved in my thought process. In some cases, I believe time doesn’t indicate whether love is present or not. It’s possible to go as fast or slow as you need for you have the power to create your steps along the way. Yet, my latest experiences have taught me that I don’t want to rush anything. Although I can be sure about an instant connection, I believe that time is needed to learn and master. Time helps us determine if we need to disconnect from someone or not. It’s not fair to just live in the moment and judge love based on that moment. At any given moment…a person can change from the form your most familiar which is why patience is key.
Patience & Adjustment
Hey! We mess up sometimes…and sometimes we’re too lazy to be proactive or do things that take us out of our current element. Things begin to change in our lives. When the seasons change….people can change and thats okay. For instance, I tend to hibernate in the winter and want more time to myself.
I’ve learned to adjust because people I care about depend on me to be my best (without the pressure of course). Sometimes we have to give a little more effort than we want while also respecting that our partners, friends or lovers won’t be able to always give 100…sometimes we have to know that it will only be .01…and we ought to take it for what it is without casting judgement.
What’s meant to be …will be..but only if you want it to be ( too wordy?) (who cares…lol)
We can make a decision to be a circle that floats on its own or we can be enhanced by interacting and learning with other circles. We play an active role in our lives. We create our reality with our thought process. So if you’re having crazy thoughts…go back to communication; its the root of all healthy interactions. In the cases of love, if you truly love…like that “F*** yea” type love…then don’t let go…adjust for the moment and renew later.
Sometimes we just need to take some times to ourselves. This shouldn’t be a problem with the people we merge with because they ought to respect you for who you are on all levels. Yet, it’s really cool if you take a snippet of time to say, “hey dude..or dudette …I appreciate you but I want to do this for me because yada yada yada” but one yada is enough.
Both parties may recognize that it’s not comfortable living a life underneath a magnifying glass and having freedom to do whatever we please is breath, it’s refreshing…
The other concern with selfishness is the expectation component. Although it’s not an issue to have expectations…expectations should be customized for your relationship type and realistic to your journey. If you are asking for too much of a person, or in some way altering that person’s being to force a fit in to your world…then things should be re-evaluated.
Be ready for an awakening
Things will get shaken up. You’ll be faced with some truths about yourself…be ready. Don’t run. Hey! You! Don’t run..Well, unless you want to..but if you know you don’ want to run then relax and let things process. Sometimes we choose people in our lives that challenge us and we have to ready to face parts we wouldn’t necessarily tackle on our own.
It makes the dream work…seriously it does. The end.
After emotion, love isn’t emotional anymore
Love is a constant. We have to learn to love with our minds. Our mind is made up of info, wisdom, facts… if we believe something to be true we have to train our mind to follow through for us when our heart fluctuates in feelings. Love is alive in both thunderstorms and sunshine. It’s a sense of being and accepting.
At the end of the day when all the moments are gathered…we have to recognize that we are the authors of our faith. We can align ourselves with individuals that fit best in our worlds with the type of frequencies we send. This doesn’t mean everything will be dipped in gold though. If you are a person who wants to elevate, then prepare to heal and grow with all the worlds you merge with even if it’s for a short time period.
It may be important to take sometime and develop your own relationship diagram with other people. What do you know about yourself? What do you know about the other? And what are the core things that hold you together?
Merge and balance people, merge and balance!